Displaying items by tag: enneagram

Picking up from the previous Growing Deeper Blog, The Enneagram and Relationships – Types 1-4, in this blog we will cover types 5 – 8.

Type Fives more than any other type have a tendency to move away from others. They value and protect their physical and emotional space and, even if they are not introverts, need time alone. People and relationships can feel intrusive to them, so they appreciate knowing what is required of them both physically and emotionally. Their strengths lie in observation and understanding. A five I work with said he likes to know things inside and out. And, when they feel competent in an area, they enjoy helping others with their knowledge and wisdom. They are not stingy with what they have to give, as long as they are able to give it on their own terms. For those who desire more spontaneity and emotional connection, Fives can seem very distant and aloof, so it is important to realize that their movement away from people is about meeting their own needs rather than a judgment on others. Respecting the privacy and boundaries of a five are the best way to get along with them. Don’t expect quick decisions but give them room to think things over.

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The Enneagram can be very beneficial in relating with others, particularly those with whom we have lasting relationships whether they be at work, in our families, or in other arenas of life.

Here are a few tips for getting along with the nine Enneagram types.  These are adapted from an article originally written by Peter O’Hanrahan – Building Better Relationships with the Enneagram.

I notice, in writing the paragraphs below, that they all recommend adjustments to our own behaviour and expectations as we strive to have good relationships with others.  This is difficult when we are upset at, fearful of, or shamed by another’s behaviour.  At those times, it is best to pay attention to what is triggering us and our own unspoken needs.  As they say on airplanes, we need to take care of ourselves first, then we are in a better position to help others.  But there are also times when we are open to changes we can make to help in a relationship.  Unfortunately, the default behaviour choice at such times is what we wish others would do for us.  Even when we are trying to listen, we usually do it through our own filter, and this can compound miscommunication and relationship issues.  Knowing the different Enneagram types is extremely helpful because we can look through the lens of each type and consider changes we never would have considered before.

Published in Blog
08.08.2019

I am number one?

When I first encountered the Ennegram eight years ago, I was told that I was probably a type two, the helper.  This made sense as I like to help people and I cared a lot about what people thought of me.  My type was confirmed six years ago when I took my first Enneagram profiling test.  And confirmed again three years ago when I took the test once more and had a week of Enneagram training.  In fact, every time I have ever taken any Enneagram test the results have indicated I was a type two.  So, I, naturally, thought I was a type two, and I have applied myself to spiritual and psychological growth through the Enneagram with that understanding.

But, in recent years, as I learned about myself and the different Enneagram types, I began to have some inklings of doubt.  The first was learning about the Enneagram instincts.  The instincts connect with the Enneagram types to produce subtypes, but I didn’t really seem to fit any type two subtypes.  Plus, my daily Enneathoughts - https://subscriptions.enneagraminstitute.com/subscribers/create – were fairly hit and miss.  While I certainly had, and have, plenty of issues, I didn’t seem to have some of the key issues of most Enneagram twos.

Yet, I was still settled on my type.  I know that nobody fits all of the descriptions for a type, and I assumed I was an outlier, but still a type two.  However, the more I grew in self-awareness, the more the doubts and questions continued. 

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This last fall I received an email from a friend who heads up a spiritual direction training course.  This article - https://www.equip.org/article/tell-me-who-i-am-o-enneagram/ - had been passed on to him by a student in his course, and he wondered if I had "any kind of solid biblical/theological response to this."  

Here is my response.

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I don’t like this article because it picks ideas, history, and events that are sure to alarm many Christians, but are not necessarily part of what a person will receive in teaching about the Enneagram.  Given the whole of Christendom to choose from, it would not take long to assemble a similar group of objectionable facts and ideas about Christian leaders and teachings.  As in Christianity, with the Enneagram not everyone believes and teaches the same, you cannot paint every Enneagram teacher and teaching with the same brush, nor can you make the teaching itself responsible for people’s abuses and misuse of it.  However, this article identifies three areas where the author takes exception to the Enneagram-- its origins, its theology, and scientific support – which are also identified in other articles.  I’ve been doing some thinking and writing on these lately, so here are some thoughts for these three areas.

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As I am a Christian, and I have been a pastor and leader in a number of churches, some friends who know that I teach about the Enneagram asked me to share my take on the Enneagram and Christianity.

You may or may not be aware that some Christian leaders have written articles against the Enneagram, discouraging their Christian readers from following Enneagram teaching.  Here are a few articles along that line

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